As 2010 came to a close, caught up in the frenzy of award season - still riding high on the memorable theater-going experiences of films like Black Swan, The Social Network, The Fighter and True Grit - I made the really awesome decision that I would see 100 different movies in the theaters during 2011. I think my total for 2010 was somewhere in the neighborhood of 70 at year's end, so why not shoot higher? It seemed like a pretty attainable goal.
For some people, 100 movies is not a big deal. Film critics see well more than 100 each calendar year. I'm also sure that big time film buffs also make it a point to see this many and more. But for most of the population - including myself - this goal was a tad crazy. First of all, unlike the critics, I was going to have to pay to see all of the films. Since there couldn't possibly be 100 great films released within 12 months, that meant having to pay for a lot of shit. Also, it's not like I have a ton of disposable income (although I often live like I do). Second, would I be able to rope people into seeing all of them with me or would I be flying solo to a lot of them? 12 months ago, starting out with the Oscar leftovers receiving late releases in Pittsburgh, these questions didn't seem like major concerns.
Without going into too much boring detail, it was a struggle. I started out great, staying on schedule through the first quarter of the year. But, rather unexpectedly, I started to fall off the pace during the Summer months, which, strangely enough, is when the most films are released and overall attendance at the theaters is at it's highest. Blame it on film fatigue or my distaste for the special-effects blockbusters of the Summer. Either way, I was surprised (and disappointed) to see that by the end of August, I was only half-way to my goal. It was at this moment, the morning after sitting through the remake of Fright Night, starring Colin Farrel, that I had a decision to make: I could either accept my failure and quit right then or I could buckle down and make a strong push through the year's last 4 months. The choice was easy. I had already sat through too much garbage just to give up. How else could I possibly justify sitting through The Dilemma or a turd like The Rite if I wasn't going to see this through until the end?
So I put my foot on the gas and went insane from that day in late August until December 30th, when I walked out of the theater after seeing War Horse for number 100. Trust me, it wasn't pretty. But I'd like to thank my friends and my girlfriend for all of their help, patience and ability to sit through terrible films just to assist me in what was really just a ridiculous way to spend a year. And so, without further ado, I'd like to begin with the arduous process of ranking the 100 films I saw in 2011. But before I do, I think a little explanation is necessary.
First, 5 of the films I saw during the last calendar year were holdovers from 2010 that did not receive an initial wide release and thus did not make their way to Pittsburgh right away. These films counted toward my goal, but, at least in my opinion, should not be ranked alongside films that qualify for this year's Oscars. These films were Blue Valentine, Rabbit Hole, I Love You Phillip Morris, Biutiful and The Company Men. For the purpose of this list, I have replaced these 5 films with ones I saw either on DVD or On-Demand (These non-theater films are marked with a *). Second, there are some significant 2011 films that, like the 2010 holdovers, were not released in time. This is the disadvantage of being a film fan in small market like Pittsburgh. I just did not have access to all of the year's films, some of which may be among the best. Some notable ones that did not qualify were Carnage, The Artist, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, A Dangerous Method, Shame and Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, just to name a few. These films are especially noteworthy omissions due to the award consideration they are receiving, but they are not the only films absent. Like I've said, I'm only ranking 100 films and those ranked are ones I saw in the theater (with the exception of the 5 replacements ones marked with a *). Some of the year's releases I just did not see and thus cannot rank - some of these are rather large and/or popular films (Transformers 3 or The Green Lantern for example).
OK, now that all of that's out of the way, let's get to the first part of the list...
100. Abduction directed by John Singleton
Though much of this dud was filmed right here in Pittsburgh, location couldn't save it from being the most illogical, poorly-acted movie of the year. Everything was a mess here. I saw this at a dollar theater and left feeling ripped off.
99. The Dilemma directed by Ron Howard
Ron Howard's early 2011 foray into comedy was an unfunny bore. I'm really disappointed in Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Connelly for being a part of this bomb.
98. Dream House directed by Jim Sheridan
Again, actors that should know better appearing in an awful film. Thought director Jim Sheridan was better than this, too.
97. Conan the Barbarian directed by Marcus Nispel
No explanation necessary.
96. Drive Angry directed by Patrick Lussier
Look, I know we're still supposed to be into these grindhouse-esque flicks and everything, but the major difference between this and film like Machete, for example, is that Machete is actually fun to watch.
95. The Rite directed by Mikael Hafstrom
I'm tired of exorcism movies (looks like we're getting another one in a few days), especially terrible ones. Nothing new to take away from this stinker.
94. Friends With Benefits directed by Will Gluck
There's nothing worse than a comedy that isn't funny and this one was flat out brutal. Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis lack any onscreen chemistry and the whole thing felt way too familiar to the Natalie Portman/ Ashton Kutcher flick, No Strings Attached, from a few months prior.
93. Sanctum directed by Alister Grierson
God only knows why James Cameron thought it necessary to subject US audiences to this piece of crap. The acting was laughable and the whole thing lacked any of the necessary suspense. Sanctum? More like Stanktum...
92. 30 Minutes or Less directed by Ruben Fleischer
A lot of funny people not being funny in this film. Not a great follow up to The Social Network for Jesse Eisenberg or to Zombieland for director Ruben Fleischer.
91. Apollo 18 directed by Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego
90. The Darkest Hour directed by Chris Gorak
How was this a Christmas release? Every single thing sucked about this movie.
89. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, pt. 1 directed by Bill Condon
Somehow, this is the worst of the Twilight films.
88. Creature directed by Fred Andrews
Although this film had it's enjoyable moments, it probably should have been straight to DVD. In a lot of places, it probably was...
87. Red Riding Hood directed by Catherine Hardwicke
I actually really wanted to like this... unfortunately it was a disaster.
86. Unknown directed by Jaume Collet-Serra
85. Immortals directed by Tarsem Singh
84. Take Me Home Tonight directed by Michael Dowse
Almost didn't see the light of day at all... probably should have stayed buried.
83. The Mechanic directed by Simon West
82. Straw Dogs directed by Rod Lurie
While the original is an edgy classic, directed by the legendary Sam Peckinpah, the remake is a neutered and dull facsimile. Not worth the effort to even rent.
81. Fast Five directed by Justin Lin
The fifth installment in a series that refuses to die, seemingly still growing in popularity. This film was surprisingly well-reviewed and made a ton of dough, but I couldn't look past the horrific dialogue and unrealistic plot. Not nearly as bad as I would have feared, but still pretty boring.
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